Ugghhh how do I explain this... I used to have two different... "toys" to take care of my needs from time to time. They weren't super spendy or anything but after a while of being married I finally threw them away. For a few reasons, I was hoping I would never need to use them and because eh... no place to but them they were getting dirty. But... well as I think I mentioned Mike just hasn't... been in the mood lately... at all...
I mean... SURE I can get him hard no problem but... does he actually WANT to have sex? or even play with himself? No... not really. *sigh* I have to literally FORCE sex on him... which I can tell you right now just depresses me more than anything else. We both agreed to get me a new toy... since I'd thrown away my old ones. After I bought it though and started to drive home... I started crying just thinking about the why. Why I even needed it in the first place.
I couldn't help but think... what was I doing wrong? Was he cheating on me? Had I just turned him off? Was I doing something that made him not want me mentally anymore? And he wasn't seeing anything or anyone he wanted physically or emotionally? I just don't... know. He keeps telling me that he's just not interested in sex anymore, hasn't been giving himself hand jobs or anything... but that just makes me... worry. Scared... afraid that the second he finds someone he's interested in fucking... he'll start cheating one me... because he found someone who could give him something I couldn't...
I don't know who to talk to about this either... it's more than a little embarrassing... What am I supposed to do? Message my parents and ask them advice about mike not wanting sex anymore? I don't know what to do... don't know if he's cheating on me. I keep asking and he keeps saying no, I explain why I am even asking of course. I don't outright accuse him of cheating, I just say that it is often a sign of a husband cheating on his wife when he's no longer interested in bedding her. We haven't even been married a year yet and he's already done sleeping with me.
I don't know what to do... *sigh*
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