Last night I wrote a text to my husband and sent a copy of it to my friend Ness. I was seriously depressed and Mike and I had a big fight. Well more so he was yelling at me, seeing an argument were there was none. It got to the point were I pulled over, got out of the car and walked away. I couldn't take the yelling anymore and I was tired of crying. Even though he calmed down and picked me up in the car afterwords. Things were still pretty strained.
SO I wrote this text... here I'll write down the post and then my friend Ness's response.
"I'm just a huge failure. I'm a horrible daughter, I fail as a friend, I suck as a wife and I'm disastrous as a mother. I can't say or do anything right, people only barely tolerate me. I completely fail in social situations. I either don't talk enough or talk too much. Talk too quietly or talk too loudly. I'm either too distant or too smothering. Too much detail or not enough. I can't get a decent job, I'm too depressed. I feel sorry for myself and can't get passed curling up and crying instead of doing something. I'm too crazy, too normal. I can't say things right, I start arguments without trying. I suck at sex because I want to enjoy it, and it takes too much work to get me to enjoy it. Any idea how that makes me feel? I don't get to enjoy sex unless I do all the work for both people or I can just lay there and try to get some enjoyment out of it. It turns me against sex, what's the point if no one is willing to try and make me happy?"
This was my friend Ness's response.
"I can't help but remark on the fact that a litany about how 'worthless' you supposedly are is nevertheless written with nearly perfect spelling and grammar, thus proving in itself that there's at least one thing you're good at. You may wish, as you assure the world that you have no talent or value, to meditate on the fact that you objectively possess a skill found in all too short a supply in modern days: you are highly literate."
It just made me laugh because I believe he was right and his comment threw me for a loop, cheering me up.
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