is this supposed to happen?

Is this supposed to happen? Am I meant to be here... in this situation? Living in a verbally abusive relationship? Am I supposed to eventually get divorced, become a counselor, and help other women in the same situation as me?

... I don't mean to be selfish... but I don't want that. I don't want to loose my marriage, I don't want it to be abusive anymore. If need be I will leave if things get too bad and despite all attempts he will not stop his actions. I don't want to be here... at all. I don't even want to have a kid right now! *sigh*

I wanted one eventually... but... from the get go things haven't been so good. I had been unemployed for a few months before I got pregnant, and the second I told Mike started yelling at me, he accused me of getting pregnant on purpose... I wanted to jump off the nearest tallest cliff. He's been less than understanding, and now that he's lost his job he isn't even trying to get a job... not right now anyways.

He keeps talking about possibly getting a job working for the sheriff's department working in the prisons, because it's good pay. But he is purposefully putting that off, with one excuse after the other. And he'll admit to it too.

I tried to get us set up for some marriage counseling, but when I called Family support and Resource center I was given one number after the other after the other. Finally the last number they gave me didn't even work... I finally just gave up. I'll try again later when I'm less tired... I've been tired every day the past few days. I haven't gotten any decent sleep for some time now.

... scott's hungry...